Recently I asked my students if they would be willing to give up being offended. We all had great fun observing our attachment to being outraged. Bodies and psyches are coded for a dualistic system in order to help insure the survival of the species. We are hardwired to prefer life rather than death. Therefore we are programmed to feel safe around those people who agree with our tribal mores and to feel uncomfortable around those who do not.  In the early stages of development, we love only those who can secure our place in the family, the workplace, the community, the world. Until we evolve to the place where we love unconditionally just because Love is what we are made of… just because we need to love… we will continue to be irritated by anyone or any belief that threatens our status on the playground.

Humans love to be offended. It’s a very primitive method of defining our identity separate from the tribe and separate from Oneness. Toddlers see their moms as the Oneness they must simultaneously separate from and never lose. . We can all hear our inner two year old sobbing, “I’m terrified without you but leave me alone…I can’t do this without you but I want to do it myself …You say Yes, so I’ll say "No." This is what “the terrible twos” are all about… separating out into individuality, learning our signature. But once we know our signature/vibration, we won’t need other people’s opinions about us, positive or negative, to build up a sense of how we are the same and how we are different from them..

As we mature into higher and clearer perspectives, we cease to enjoy being constantly upset just to prove that we do or do not belong. We begin to notice a yearning deep inside for love that doesn’t go away even if we break the rules. We want our parents and friends to love us as Source would love us… unconditionally.  Unfortunately, most parents did not receive that quality of love when they were young and so, despite their good intentions, they constantly fall back into duality. “I will love you if you are Good. I will take the love/attention away if you are Bad.” Most people just are not psychically strong enough to hold the overview that everyone is doing their best given their beliefs and life experiences.

In our family, we had a motto literally painted on the living room wall. It said, “Nobody is a turkey for the fun to it.”  Translated, that means that if a person is being obnoxious, it is probably because they can’t figure out a better way to get their needs met. If they are freaking out in front of you, assume that, consciously or unconsciously, they have chosen you to witness their meltdown because they hope that you will be the one who can love them no matter what. Search yourself to see if you can joyously become a mirror for that person… reflecting their truest original self rather than their broken self.  If you can’t be part of the solution, at least try not to compound the problem by being guilty. Instead, say some variation of “I’m so sorry. I know that you need support but right now but I can’t keep my emotional/physical/mental balance when I try to help you. I wish you well.”

Whatever a person’s opinion about you, you can be sure that it isn’t accurate. If they perceive that you are perfect, know that such an opinion reflects their need for outward proof of their own “Goodness” which they can’t yet recognize in themselves. And, if they judge that you are the scum of the earth with absolutely no redeeming social value, know that this reflects their own inner despair. Either way, whatever they think about you is none of your business. The only thing that matters is whether or not you recognize your own sacredness. We are all just Source pretending to be a limited human pretending to be Divine.